Good LORD - Bitter old lady

Are you wondering if this is a view of me in the future?

Good LORD!

Many of you know my experiences in public with check out people or people walking by will stop & have a moment of intimate conversation about a life issue & then walk on...this is nothing new, been going on for years. I generally just roll with it & find grace in the moment. She's always there...

Back to the real story of the cranky old lady (B if you're reading this you know I have to follow that bird - just giggled like crazy imagining you reading this thinking..when is the plane going to land?)

So I am at Wal-Mart on Grindstone Parkway (if you go to Wal-Mart in Columbia, I am asking you to harass this old lady - I am not joking). I have my 12 items in my basket - the kind you carry, so I qualify for the fast line without enraging the public that I may have 21 items. C'mon you know you count the items of all the people in line too! It's 5:15, I am watching the clock & my clock on my cell fastidiously b/c I have to pick Q up by 5:45 & pick up McD stuff for Larry by 6:00 - so my infamous time management skills are being put to the test. I am totally into my head & floating around the clock & going through the motions of check-out at Wal-Mart.

While in my mind, I place my basket up on the counter of the express lane, you know the counter that is approx. a 1x1 ft square? Too small to do squat with? I wait & my turn is next...

"I can't believe you did not empty your basket! I've never had anybody just set their basket up here & expect me to empty it."

This was all said with pure venom of bitter old lady - I snap out of my head - hmmm I've heard that sound before I think - oh yeah snippy old lady who is always always bitter & right.

"Excuse me, what did you say?" I ask (why do I ask for a sparring match, sometimes it's just instinct to fight back, so the fight began)

Adele (yes her name is ADELE) says grumpily 'nevermind'.

Me: 'Huh...I thought heard you being snippy.' That flew out of my mouth before I thought it out, really went out flying...my response to deal with this crap was pure instinct b/c I was not going to take crap from the bitter old lady..ummm done that enough...now have some level of self-respect..don't have to take it.

Adele: 'I don't understand why you didn't unload your basket. You just put it up & expected me to unload it for you!"

Me: 'Well, if that is a problem for you, then put everything back in the basket & I will leave. I will go to another line, I don't need to be here. Pack it up!'

Adele: now throwing the items out roughly 'No that's OK, you don't need to do that' in the classic victim tone I have heard many times before...

Me: 'No really, I don't want to hear you being snippy, put the stuff back.'

Adele: now in a pouty voice 'Just forget I said anything at all, I shouldn't have opened my mouth. I've been here for 8 hours & I'm off in 10 minutes.'

Me: not giving into this behavior because now I feel like a little girl & my mother is pulling this crap out - really it was pretty strong response to this crap from nowhere...'Well it sounds like you still have 10 minutes of work to do.'

Adele: muttering and bagging at this point...

Me: returning to my head & finding myself a little impressed that I didn't take this crap or become sympathetic at her woe is me line. & get played a fool...wait until Larry hears this one.

I pay as quick as I can, I scanned my debit card so fast that the card reader couldn't read it. So of course Adele takes this tone of you poor idiot girl & instructs me how to use it. Ughhh I thought this was the express lane...it has now turned into customer hell....it's never going to end.........

I get the bags off the round-about, I'm not even waiting for her to have the chance to spin it for me...but Adele sees this as her moment for the final blow...

She comes around the spinny baggy thingy & grabs my arm! YES SHE TOUCHES ME!!!

Wrong move lady, you do not touch me when I am angry, I may just hit you. Really, there is an auto response for me to hit if I get touched when angry or upset, it's a big rule for me...

Adele says: 'Are we good honey? Don't mind me, don't let me get to you, don't take it so personally..' drippy drippy false sincerity.

Me: Inside 'don't hit don't hit don't hit - oh that's it woman with the insincerity, you just crossed my last line of wrong - please let me just give a little push - come on one little shove off of me? no she'll break a hip, don't do it'

Me: I pull away from her claws as roughly as I can & say 'I have to go, I don't have time for you.' & I walk off.

I thought about going straight to customer service, but didn't, by now it's 5:30 & I have to get my son. That's infinitely more important than that old bag. Then I think..I can't wait to blog about this!

Reflecting back on this I wanted to start an Adele protest & have all of you go thump your baskets on her counter. I know I mentioned that there is a moment I find grace in these encounters & all I found was that I didn't respond w/ physical assault when touched.

OKAY - so what brought back this experience? Last night at Conley Rd Wal-Mart I go to the express lane with my 3 items. Are you wondering why I put myself through these things voluntarily? Are you wondering if Adele was there waiting for me just like a spider (Gone w/ the Wind line)?

Nope, I check out, this is a gal I've had many times & she's a chipper young gal who works very hard. I am in the process of getting checked out. Someone comes up & just dumps their items on the 1x1 counter & gets all mixed up in my stuff. This gal just went 'ughhhh, why can't they just leave it in the baskets!' Now she muttered this to me so the other gal didn't hear...I started laughing ... I mean really laughing.

Now just what is the etiquette?